Pssst, Sen. Obama, here's a sure-fire strategy to WIN BIG

Pssst, Sen. Obama, here's a sure-fire strategy to WIN BIG 
Onion-esque, truth is stranger than fiction. McCain and Obama swear bi-partisan blood oaths to appoint the other as his VP. They're both so desperate for votes, this is their win-win solution.  Added bonus: Wall Street gets its much needed boost of confidence.  Just like George, you too can have your very own Mission Accomplished!! 
Posted: 07.28.2008 

Dear Sen. Obama:

Since you’re even more flexible on the issues than Sen. Nancy Pelosi, you should work with John McCain, and demonstrate your very successful and prominant bi-partisanship. I’m sure you can sell it, I know you’re a real charmer – issues, smissues, they really don’t matter – as long as you’ve got those buzzwords, and I know you do!

Specifically, here’s a sure-fire, win-win strategy, so you AND Sen. McCain can continue your illustrious political careers forever, at taxpayer expense, of course.

Each of you, that is Sen. Obama and Sen. McCain, should execute a mutually binding, bi-partisan of course, agreement to appoint the other (ie the “loser”) to be VP.

SO, hypothetically, the Democrats and Republicans would work together, another bi-partisan hallmark, besting even the Patriot Act, the Patriot Act ver.2, the funding of Iraq again and again, and giving AT&T, Verizon and countless others a “get out jail free” card.

I imagine your respective strategists and campaign managers would have no trouble working up a really nice, soft-shoe ad campaign. And there’d be the fluffy slogans about “delivering a better life” complete with sound-bites. They would be promoting to American voters the same choice they have now, but better: between the Obama-McCain ticket, OR, the McCain-Obama ticket…. hmmm, can’t wait to see who the great nation of “free-thinking” Americans picks.

That way, you both win, Wall Street can get that much-needed boost of confidence to avoid the withdrawal tremors and night sweats, and Americans can return to watching American Idol or any other flavor of distraction that may be on their TiVo, and sleep well, knowing the status quo will, assuredely, be maintained for another four years.

We can pull out that Mission Accomplished banner yet again, and salute corporate America, for its investment into the American political system. Maintaining a steady hand at the control of the US government is no cheap endeavor – and it’s a 24-7-365 job that employs thousands!

And don’t you worry about it, between following their favorite sports teams, keeping up with longer and greater demands and work, and their dedication to American Idol (yeah!), the vast majority of “civilians” won’t think twice about the conflicts that are presented. Anyway, you guys are pretty close on most issues, right?

Your truly,

just another unrepresented commonner